A Sibling Love-Hate Relationship

Siblings are individuals who have one or more parents in common.These people, who are called brothers or sisters, commonly grow up together in one household. As a result, they develop a kind of relationship that cannot compare to other social relationships. Siblings share a special bond that people cannot have with friends, significant others, and other people. However, not all sibling relationships are intact because of different factors that influence or complicate it like birth order, parental treatment, and individualities. Sometimes, there can be intense competitions and acts of aggression between or among siblings. This is called sibling rivalry.

Sibling rivalry is a type of animosity among or between siblings which is triggered by different factors. One factor is jealousy. Older siblings may feel jealous about the attention, care, and love that their parents give to their younger children. Consequently, siblings often fight or quarrel. In return, younger siblings develop a certain degree of abhorrence towards their older siblings. In the end, they have a strained or unusual relationship.

A number of researches have been conducted on sibling rivalry, and these studies revealed that the siblings’ age gap and gender contribute to sibling rivalry. Sister pairs or female siblings who have a close age gap have the least tendency of having sibling rivalry. Brother pairs or boys who come next to each other in birth order tend to have the most tendency of developing sibling rivalry especially when they are close in age.

It has also been discovered that sibling rivalry may start in early childhood around the time of the arrival of the second child, and it may be carried onto adulthood if not addressed properly. Although sibling rivalry often fades away over time because siblings become more mature and less dependent on their parents, some rivalries still continue even when siblings come to age.

Sylvia Barkan Rimm, an American psychologist specializing in parenting and child development, said that sibling rivalry has its benefits, but parents should see to it that it would not go out of hand. Sibling rivalry also shows that siblings can assert themselves and are not being too submissive. However, siblings should also learn how to accept each other and remember that they are a part of one family. The role of parents in making sure that sibling rivalry is managed as soon as possible helps in preventing it from continuing in adulthood.